Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
