this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
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