Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
