I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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