what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize