You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
