3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
