i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
