cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
