well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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