We named our party play list daddy issues
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
She needs sedatives and a leash
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize