after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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