During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
