Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
