tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Randomize