U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
