I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
My vagina just recognized that song.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
