im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Randomize
