You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
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