now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Randomize
