it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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