waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
