What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize