3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
