Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
