So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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