I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
