youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
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