i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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