I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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