yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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