Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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