I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
