i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize
