i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
