No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
