I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize