Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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