I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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