3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
