is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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