1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
