Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Randomize
