I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize
