i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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