Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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