So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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