Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
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