Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
