Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
