So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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