You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
