He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
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