I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
