This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
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