Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Randomize