please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
