did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
