Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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