Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
